Train to the underworld

31.10.2019 - 31.10.2019 10 °C
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I have a theory that there are only three things on which it is impossible to overdose:

1. Trains
2. Waterfalls
3. Caves

It may be impossible to overdose on these, but I may as well try.

So I found myself on a grey, gloomy Thursday morning checking out of the Dežnik guesthouse, storing my luggage there, and walking down quiet, empty streets to Ljubljana railway station. I wondered why there were no cars on the roads and all the shops were shut. I googled "public holidays slovenia" on my phone and found that today was Reformation Day commemorating the day that Martin Luther nailed his ninety-five theses to the door of a church in Germany. It seems like an odd holiday for a country that is overwhelmimgly Catholic.

Public holidays in Europe really are public holidays. Things actually shut. Perhaps the Australian system is more convenient for tourists, where things are allowed to stay open but they have to pay their staff more. But what good is a public holiday if so many people still have to work?

I bought my ticket, splashing out about another three euros for first class, and caught the same train that I had taken the previous afternoon, the "Pohorje" intercity tilting train. I was even travelling on the same line southwest of Ljubljana but this time I got off much earlier at Postojna.

I walked about half an hour from Postojna station through an attractive, modern but eerily silent mid-sized country town to Postojna Caves. I bought a ticket for about thirty-five euros which entitled me to a tour of the caves and also Predjama Castle about nine kilometres further down the road. They do run shuttle buses between the two attractions but only in the summer months. I had to spend another thirty euros on a taxi organised by the caves visitor centre. Gulp. Oh well. You only live once. It's only money. Gulp.

After a short wait the taxi van appeared. The driver was friendly and knowledgeable and talked about the history of the area - the fierce battles in World War One when Slovenia was the front line between Austria-Hungary (on the side of the Germans) and Italy (on the side of the Allies), about how some fields used to be a lake but were drained by farmers many centuries ago, and he pointed out a cave in which Neanderthal remains were found.

Soon I reached Predjama Castle. This isn't any old castle. Predjama is built into the side of a cliff. How cool is that? I went in and saw how the rooms and the corridors merged seamlessly between artificial wall and natural rockface.

Predjama Castle's most famous resident was a Slovenian folk hero, Erazem Predjamski, who allied himself with the common people against Habsburg tyranny. After he killed a favourite of the Habsburg king, there was a price on his head. Erazem holed himself up in his magnificent castle and the Habsburg troops laid siege.

Behind the castle is a network of caves which lead to a ground entrance in the mountains behind the castle, this enabled Erazem to replenish his supplies. He even taunted the Habsburg soldiers by throwing fresh cherries at them from the parapets. It seemed as if there were no way to dislodge Erazem from his impregnable fortress.

But there was one room with thin walls - the toilet. The troops bribed a servant to display a candlelight signal when Erazem went to the loo. When the Habsburg troops saw the candlelight, they flung a boulder with a catapult right into the toilet, causing the toilet to collapse and crushing Erazem to death. What a way to go.

The taxi met me at the castle entrance at the agreed time and I was whisked back to Postojna Caves in time for the two o'clock tour. I wasn't the only one, there were hundreds of others. We were divided into language groups and then led through a short passage where a train was waiting for us - a cute little battery-operated toy train, that took us into the bowels of the earth, through the most beautiful and intricate stalactites and stalagmites and columns, all artistically illuminated.

At the end of the ten-minute train journey we were led on a walking tour through various chambers. There was the Spaghetti Chamber where the stalactites on the ceiling were so pale and thin and straight that they looked like dangling noodles. There was the Red Chamber (it does exactly what it says on the tin) as well as the White Chamber (ditto). There was the Postojna Cave's most famous sight, "Brilliant", a pure white stalagmite several metres tall that looked like a giant melted candle. We finished our walking tour at the Concert Hall, an enormous hemispherical chamber in which concerts are actually held before an audience of thousands. The train then took us back up to the surface.

There is a debate about which caves are better, Postojna or Škocjan. Personally I prefer Škocjan even though I loved Postojna, simply due to the sheer immensity of the Škocjan Caves that swallow you whole and turn you into a mere atom. However, Postojna has more intricate and beautiful cave formations, and the lighting is much better at Postojna too. Postojna allows you to take photographs, which is prohibited at Škocjan. I also found that Postojna had an artifical theme park feel with its little kiddie-sized train and smooth, gently sloping, step-free path that even toddlers can do. Škocjan felt more authentic. Also, Škocjan took commitment. There was a lengthy walk from the visitor centre to the cave entrance, there were hundreds of steps, you had to be careful where you stepped. I found that this made the Škocjan Caves more rewarding. My hot tip: see both like I did. They are both great. You won't regret it.

I caught a coach back to Ljubljana. I would have just missed a train and the next train wasn't due at Postojna for ninety minutes. Slovenian railways are well maintained and reliable and modern, but the services are not very frequent and they are very slow due to all the twisty mountain tracks that haven't been straightened out since they were built in the 1850s. Sounds like a certain state that I live in!

Eva at the guesthouse had recommended that I see Metelkova before I go. Metelkova used to be a barracks of the Yugoslav National Army in the heart of Ljubljana. After Slovenia declared its independence in 1991 and emerged victorious from a ten-day war, the Yugoslav army abandoned the barracks. Various groups of students, anarchists, hippies and other alternative lifestylers occupied Metelkova and turned it into an autonomous commune. It still is. Unfortunately when I went there, the only people I could see were dodgy little knots of dodgy young men huddling conspiratorially, presumably they were esteemed providores of the finest powdery substances from Colombia and Afghanistan. There was some interesting street art but overall it was just another filthy graffiti-ridden squat like Christiana in Copenhagen.

After a quick dinner at a felafel restaurant, I walked back to Dežnik and collected my backpack. I heartily recommend staying here, at a real family-owned guesthouse rather than an impersonal hotel owned by some multinational corporation, a place where you will be welcomed with amazing Slovenian helpfulness and hospitality. The fact that Dežnik is in the heart of the cutest little city you will ever see is just an added bonus.

It was time for one more train. I walked back to Ljubljana station and bought another ticket to Lesce-Bled. The sleek, shiny, red, nearly empty Siemens Desiro went northwest through the dark evening gloom. About an hour later I emerged from the train, a taxi was waiting on the platform. There were probably buses but I couldn't have been bothered, I was tired and just wanted to sleep. I introduced myself to the driver and asked him to take me to my apartment in Lake Bled about five kilometres away. Even though he used the meter, the fare was €16.30. Slovenian taxis are pure extortion. I should have taken the bus instead. I checked the timetables later and there was actually a bus not long after I got off the train.

I checked into the apartment using the precise detailed instructions the Airbnb host had sent to me, and enjoyed a quiet night doing precisely nothing for a change.

Tilt train to Postojna